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Facing up to an unimaginable tragedy has given rising British high jump star Emily Borthwick a new perspective on life.
"With everything that's happened in my personal life, there's no fear any more - I can now accept that my wild dreams can become a reality," said Borthwick.
In November her younger brother Connor sustained fatal injuries after becoming trapped in machinery at a business site in Blackburn.
"Connor was the spirit of life and I take his spirit with me everywhere I go now. He's with me in every competition," said Borthwick.
"He'd want me to be living life to the full and he lives on through us all - his passing has given me a new outlook on life.
"I'm no longer worried about the little things now I've been through something so traumatic. It's the worst thing I'll ever experience in life so why be afraid of a high bar or those world-class girls?"
Having improved her personal best by 11cm in the past two years, the 24-year-old has enjoyed a string of eye-catching performances to kickstart her 2022 indoor campaign.
Borthwick and her family started a fundraising page in Connor's memory which has raised more than £18,000 for Alzheimer's and Down Syndrome charities
The Loughborough-based athlete, who trains alongside fellow Olympian Morgan Lake, has won three events in 12 days this year and is closing in on Katarina Johnson-Thompson's British record of 1.98m.
Borthwick leaped a superb 1.95m lifetime best in the Czech Republic this month to rank among the top five in the world this winter.
"I opened with an equal indoor personal best with 1.91m in Germany, which was an amazing start and close to my outdoor best [1.93m set in summer 2020], then beat some really impressive girls, which is so exciting," Borthwick said.
"Literally, the only way is up - I've felt everything really click and it's so nice to be in real business now, proving to myself that I deserve to be competing against the best in the world.
"To jump 1.95m was amazing and I attempted 1.97m in France afterwards, so the British record isn't too far off now.
"The consistency of my jumps has shown I'm ready to go higher. I've dreamed about getting close to the magical two-metre mark for so long, and I know a big one will hopefully creep up on me."
Having also registered a 1.90m jump in Slovakia this week on the back of her trio of victories, Borthwick heads into Saturday's Indoor Grand Prix in Birmingham - and the challenge of facing Russia's Olympic and world champion Mariya Lasitskene - in confident mood.
"To jump in front of a home crowd will be incredible, and it's the first time in two years that my parents will be able to see me compete in person so that's going to be special," she said. "I'd love to jump a personal best, but I just want to relax and enjoy myself.
"The other girls in Birmingham are incredible athletes - I'm still fangirling with them even though I'm beating some of them."
Borthwick hopes to continue her progress at four major championships this year
Eighth on her major championships debut in the European Indoor Championships in Poland last March with a 1.85m clearance, Borthwick progressed to 1.93m and 16th in August's Olympic Games in Tokyo.
This year the Wigan & District athlete has high hopes of contesting the quadruple whammy of major championship events in 2022.
First on the agenda will be the World Indoor Championships in Belgrade four weeks from now, then the busy summer features the outdoor World Championships in Eugene in July, followed by the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham, then Munich's European Championships in August.
And such lofty goals no longer seem unrealistic for an athlete once dubbed unsuitable for the high jump.
"I'm not your average 6ft skinny high jumper - I'm 5ft 7in with more muscle and was always told I didn't have the right attributes," said Borthwick. "But I'm strong, fast and powerful so I'm the anomaly in high jump and proving everyone wrong.
"In my career I'd love the medals, the records and the consistency, but more than anything my goals are to inspire others - to help people believe that they can achieve even if they look different like I do."
