My dad is definitely an ANGEL and I had to lend him to God a few days ago. I am sure he will as always make God proud.

Sometimes we feel sorry for the pain and stress that a person may have endured. We all grieve differently and I can assure you there is no right or wrong way to grieve, neither is there a specific grief path that we all need to follow but one thing remains possible, there are healthy ways to cope with pain that in time can renew you and permit you to move on. Time definitely heals many wounds.

Talking about heartbreaks brings to mind the effect of grief on the heart; loss of a dear one, a relationship gone. These painful events literally break your heart. Recent research shows that losing a loved-one for instance raises the risk of having a Heart Attack by 21-fold and this risk is as high as six times a whole week after.

Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering that one experiences when someone you love is taken away by death for instance.

Remember these as you grief;

1. Ignoring your pain will not make it go away faster. It will rather make it worse in the long run. Express your emotions even if it means you have to do it in “private”

2. There is no need to be “strong” in the face of loss; crying does not make you a weak person. Feeling sad, frightened or lonely is normal at such a time.

3. There is no appropriate period to grief: for some it may last only a few days while for others it may take over a year. It varies from one individual to another.

4. The fact that you are not shedding tears does not mean you are not deeply hurt. You may be equally or even much more affected than someone who is raining tears.

Over 40 years ago, a psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described 5-stages of grief. Some of us will also not go through grief in the order listed by Kubler-Ross, a fact that she pointed out herself.

1. Denial – “this can’t be happening to me”

2. Anger – “who is to blame”

3. Bargaining – “make this not happen and in return I will…”

4. Depression - “I am too sad to do anything”

5. Acceptance – “I am at peace with what happened”

Common Symptoms of Grief

1. Shock and disbelief

2. Sadness – this is probably the most universal symptom

3. Guilt – you may regret or feel guilty about what you said or did not say or do

4. Anger – even if the loss was nobody’s fault you may experience anger and resent

5. Fear – a significant loss may trigger a host of worries and fears. One may feel anxious and even insecure.

6. Physical symptoms – grief may go beyond emotions and we may experience inability to sleep, body pains, fatigue and even nausea.

Together we can cope in a healthy way

1. Get support

a. Seek comfort in people who care about you.

b. Draw comfort from your faith – this is a great time to pray, meditate, read words of inspiration from the Bible. It helps to know that there is a superior God whom we can cast our burdens on. Those who do not have a religious leaning may have some challenges in this area.

2. Take care of yourself

a. Face your feelings instead of avoiding or suppressing them all the time

b. Express your feelings in a tangible way – you may write your feelings down on paper

c. Physical health is important – when you feel good physically, you will also feel better emotionally. Combat the sadness and fatigue by eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Do not use alcohol or drugs to numb your feelings; you may be asking for trouble.

d. Do not dictate how others should feel and neither should they determine what you feel. We all grief differently.

e. Plan ahead for grief “triggers”. It is important to know that we will occasionally find ourselves in the woods even after it appears we have overcome our pain.

f. Remember that all humans grief and you have done nothing wrong by grieving

When to seek professional help

Time is a great healer of many things including pain. After a while we expect that the intensity of our pain etc. should wane. If it does not and we have any of the feelings below then we need to seek urgent professional help.

1. Feel like life is not worth living

2. Wish you had died with your loved one

3. Blame yourself for the loss or failing to prevent it

4. Feel numb and disconnected from others for more than a few weeks

5. Having difficulty trusting others since your loss

6. Are unable to perform your normal daily activities.

AS ALWAYS LAUGH OFTEN, WALK AND PRAY EVERYDAY AND REMEMBER IT’S A PRICELESS GIFT TO KNOW YOUR NUMBERS (blood sugar, blood pressure, blood cholesterol, BMI)

Dr. Kojo Cobba Essel

St. Andrews Clinic/Health Essentials Ltd

(www.healthclubsgh.com)

Dr. Essel is a medical doctor, holds an MBA and is ISSA certified in exercise therapy and fitness nutrition.

Thought for the week –“Every individual in this universe experiences grief at one stage or the other. Death is the universal truth and no one can avoid it.”

Reference:

1. Helpguide.org – “coping with grief and loss – understanding the grieving process”

2. www.people-health.com

Join me and the La-Palm Royal Beach Hotel Healthy Lifestyle Team on Saturday 30^th September 2017 and the last Saturday of every month at 6am prompt to exercise and share ideas on staying healthy.