"At the start of the year I didn't know if I wanted to play any more. That's how bad it was."
Cliftonville's invincible Women's Premiership season will mean a lot to everyone at the club, but it means more than most to Marissa Callaghan.
After the death of her nephew, Ryan, in October 2023, Callaghan admits she had been struggling.
Football has been her entire life and she is one of the sport's leading figures in Northern Ireland, but she was questioning her future in it.
One year on and standing with the Women's Premiership medal around her neck, after helping Cliftonville to an unbeaten campaign, she was glad she has persevered.
"It's been a tough year," Callaghan told BBC Sport NI.
"You do have a wee blip. I think it was the third time in my career where you go, 'I'm done'. But I'm not.
"I feel great and I work really, really hard on everything - my nutrition, my sleep, my training.
"I keep up with the youngsters. I might be 39 but I'm not 39 in terms of my football age."